Expatriotical

Episode 41: Hosting Company Expat Style

• Chandra Alley • Season 1 • Episode 41

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How do you host company? There are no right or wrong answers, but here is an episode that might be helpful as you step into (or continue) hosting company abroad!

Listen in as Chandra shares some great tips on how to improve everyone's experience WITHOUT striving for perfection!

Plus, stay tuned as she shares this episode's "Chan Select", which gave her one of her most memorable nights in Paris!


Like what you hear? Text and tell me!

"Live and Travel in the Know" with Expatriotical!

Bienvenue, Benvenuti, and Welcome to Expatriotical, the podcast for expats, travelers, and other adventurous souls. I’m Chandra Alley and after living as an expat with my husband and 4 children in two different countries for 6 years, I’ve learned the arts of pivoting during pitfalls, traveling tastefully for less, and soaking in amazing new cultures without losing your own.


Join me, as we dive into the joys and challenges of travel and the expat life in every episode!


Hey everybody! I'm looking forward to diving into this topic with you today, flushing it out a bit. I've got some notes written down as I begin writing this, but it's something that I think is conceptual and also practical and so I'm excited for us to quote unquote, work that out together.


This idea first first came to me this summer when Paris was hosting the 2024 Olympics and we were able to host some friends here during the Olympics as well. And I had this plan to talk all about when your city hosts the Olympics, but since this podcast is not live, and I usually am writing these a week or so in advance, it just didn't play out the way I wanted it to.


But that doesn't mean that I can't talk about it. I'm just kind of not including the part about the Olympics and all of the details with that . Because many times, especially when you live in highly touristed cities, you are called upon or asked to host.


And many times that more practically sounds like in our case, “hey, we are going to come to Paris", and then you can choose to say “you can stay with us!” or not. The choice is up to you and honestly a lot of times it has to do with the type of relationship you may have with said visitors, what you have going on in your personal life at that time that they're going to be visiting, and a plethora of other things.


And sometimes you may offer, and they may decline, my cousin and his new wife came to Paris about a year ago, and we offered for them to stay with us, but due to the fact that it was a belated honeymoon, they chose not to, and I totally get it! But we were still able to host them for a dinner and have a wonderful evening together!


But as far as opening up your home to people staying with you, that can look a lot of different ways. We do have a guest room, but a lot of the times when people come to visit us it's not just a couple of people. For two summers now we have hosted Chris's sister, Sara, her husband, Nick, and our four nieces and nephews. We also hosted one of my best friends, Tasha, her husband, and their four kids, in the same summer actually just separated by a trip on our part, to America.


And so when we're accommodating that many people things look different. Usually the parents get the guest room, and then one or more of my kids may share their room with the children of our guests. Or, if the kids have not met each other yet (here I am referring to our Olympic guests from this summer) we had Carson move into my younger boys's room and their two kiddos got his room.


And as far as sleeping, we are an air mattress, family all of the way. It may not be luxurious, but if you want to add a little more comfort throw a pillow topper on an air mattress, and it's pretty darn comfortable. I know this, because that's what I slept on the entire last trimester of my last year of university. My guests sleep on my old pillow topper and I don't usually hear complaints, in fact, I hear, “We slept pretty well.” Or “We slept pretty good.”


Maybe I am being naïve, because most people aren't going to complain, but if you didn't sleep well, you usually don’t lie or you just don’t say anything.


But let's say your guests would like to have a little more space and stay in a hotel. It's always nice to know of options, especially if you've stayed in them yourself, that you can share with your guests when they visit your city.


For us, we have shared Le Meridien which is located in the 17th arrondissement of Paris, and which is where we stayed for the last 3 1/2 weeks or so of our period of time in temporary housing before we got into our apartment. It was comfortable, the breakfast was good, and it's in a great location.


Another option that we can give to people when they come to Paris is the Meininger hotel. Our first experience in a Meininger came during the Thanksgiving weekend of 2021, before we knew we were moving to Paris, but knew that we were going to be moving and wanted to see Paris before we left Europe or thought we were going to leave Europe. The Meininger was affordable, and we could all stay in one room, which is not something that many hotels can offer for a family of six.


It also was a lot closer to Disneyland, Paris, which was something we knew we were to do while we were here for that visit. Honestly, I could go on and on about the Meininger hotels, but if you want to hear a little bit more, you can listen to Episode 3: Traveling Tastefully for Less, where that hotel chain is the “Chan Select”.


My final thought on this topic, is that when you host, it doesn't have to be perfect. Yes, I want my house to be clean when my guests arrive, but sometimes that doesn't happen fully. When my friend Tasha came, we had actually mailed our keys to her from LA, when we had arrived in America, so that she could get in when she arrived in Paris, a couple days before us.


We had been talking and she knew the house was going to be a bit of a wreck. Because there had been 12 of us living in it and we left straight from Paris to go to America without washing sheets, or towels, or anything. And she got it. In fact, it was her idea to bring some of her old sheets that they had and some old towels so that when they arrived, they just bundled up the dirty sheets and put some fresh ones on. It was genius! And definitely unconventional, but super practical. That way, I didn't feel guilty about her having to wash sheets, because she didn't, and she ended up leaving the sheets, because like I said, they were old ones, and then she had room for all the fun souvenirs and stuff that they could bring home with them from Paris.


Again, it may not have been perfect, but there was a practical solution. I kind of want to keep in that same vein of thought concerning food prep or meals and things not having to be perfect when you have guests.


I'm not sure if I've mentioned on the podcast, but I am not a meal planner. I am a what-do-I-Feel-like kind of cook. If I feel like Mexican food, I make Mexican food, if I feel like Italian, we eat, Italian, so planning ahead is not something that I do naturally when it comes to meals.


But I do think about it whenever I have guests. I realize that having an extra four or six or 8 mouths to feed takes a little bit of forethought, so I start by asking my guests what their tentative plans are. If they want to share a full itinerary, that's fine, but I just kind of want to know which days they plan to be around the house.


If my guests say that on one of the days they want or plan to do a picnic at night on the Champs du Mars to watch the lights on the Eiffel Tower, then I know that dinner is not needed, and maybe we're joining them so I know that we'll just pick something up when we get off the metro, um, and buy it a market. Or maybe, we're going to have a date night with the parents, so then I know that I'm just making something easy for the kids, and the quantity doesn't have to be as much.


I usually expect that they'll eat breakfast with us, but some of our most recent guests didn't really eat breakfast much. So I just made sure we had some cereal and coffee and fruit and all was well!


But in general, I usually go for what The Lazy Genius, Kendra Adachi, calls, brainless crowd pleasers. Those meals would include my, well it’s not really mine because I didn't invent it, but I call it my Insta pot, mac & cheese recipe, canned green beans, and Costco chicken nuggets.


These chicken nuggets are amazing you guys! I have not yet met a person that didn't like them, and they can be used in so many ways. Whether I cook them, chop them up, and serve them in Poké bowls, chop them up and serve them in tacos, leave them plain and serve them with mac & cheese, they are well loved, and for €16 a bag will feed a pretty big crowd!


I might buy 12 or more frozen quiche Lorraine's from Monoprix to bake, and chop up some vegetables, and that’s what we’ll have. It may not be homemade, but it gets the job done and it keeps the cost reasonable. Again, I'm not going for perfection, I'm going for people being well fed, feeling loved, and enjoying their time with us and our time together.


I am also not below, allowing my guests to have sandwiches for a lunch, I mean, especially here in France. If I buy some baguette, that's a pretty high class sandwich, if you ask me.


Again, my goal is not to impress, but to bless.


And since I mentioned reasonable prices a minute ago, I did want to add and I think I've said this in another episode somewhere, but another practice that we started way back when we lived in Texas, is to have a company slush fund. Which is basically where we set aside or save money every month for when we might get the opportunity to host. That way, if we spend a bit extra on groceries, which we tend to do, it's covered because we've already been saving for it for months or years in advance. I know that might seem tedious, but trust me it's really worth it.


Our next topic to tackle when we are talking about hosting is tourism. Honestly, one of the more practical ways to find things that you think family, friends, and other guests might like to do when they visit your city, is go do them yourself. For example, when we first came to Paris, as visitors, we did a boat tour on the Seine, and it was nice. So then when Chris's parents came in September 2022, shortly after we moved into our apartment, we took them on a river tour.


But then when my mom came to visit in February 2023, I thought to myself "I wanna try something different!” So I did a bus tour with her, and loved it because I felt like I could see more of the city! Now, bus tours are definitely my go to unless somebody tells me that they desperately wanted to float down the waters of the Seine. And, if a person wants to do both, I have found that if you use the Get Your Guide app, you can book a bus tour and get the boat tour added for a lower cost.


Finding restaurants that you feel like give your guests, a French or Parisian flair (obviously that example is for me since I live in France) and just keeping a mental note or maybe a note on your phone of those restaurants, is also a great idea. For the first year or so we took people to a restaurant in the Latin Quarter that sat on a quaint street and wasn’t a far walk from the Jardin du Luxembourg or Luxembourg Gardens. There they could have a three course meal where they could try things like frog legs, escargot, etc.. . and their whole meal would cost only €15.


But now that I found Bouillon Pigalle, which I refer to in Episode 32: What’s Saving My Expat Life- Summer’s End Edition, which is even less expensive, the food is better, and if I'm really honest, the wait staff gets treated better by the boss, I will most likely be going there to show my guests, classic Parisian or French fair.


Some of you might be thinking, but I don't want to be a one trick pony, and I would argue that “if it ain’t broke don't fix it”. You don't have to reinvent the wheel every time you have guests. They're all going to be different and want to see some different things, but if they ask for recommendations, you can give the same standard ones that you gave to your last guests, knowing that the more you discover your city, the more options you'll have if they visit a second time.


Another thing to add at this point is to make sure that you give yourself grace and pace yourself. We have some guests that go off and see a lot of things themselves, but we have other guests that are more intimidated by the language and the fast pace of the city. So those guests usually want me to go with them. And I am more than happy to do that! But I always try to make sure to balance that with my regular life of doing this podcast, and taking care of my four kiddos, buying groceries, etc…


Don't burn yourself out. I had a friend that told me the first year we lived here, as she had been here for several years already, that in the past, she had taken her guests everywhere, but after having her second child, she just finally got to the point where she couldn't do it. And she said to her guests, “My house is open and available to you, but you're going to have to go by yourself if you want to see more things than I can handle in a day.” And I think that's a totally fair thing to do.


The final point that I want to bring up is what a great experience it can be having guests in your home. It makes for really interesting conversations that can go later into the night, than if you were just having a regular dinner party or talking on the phone. It also makes for some really amazing memories! Last summer when Chris's sister Sarah and her husband Nick came to visit us, Chris's parents came as well, and I don't remember exactly how we got to this, but we were all lounging around talking.


It was probably 9:30 or 10 o'clock at night and somebody mentioned something about the four younger adults going out together. And I think that Sarah dared Chris and said, “Oh you're all talk, you wouldn't really go out anyway!” He casually got up and left the room and when he came back he had changed out of his shorts and T-shirt and put on jeans and a polo shirt, and we were like “Really? We didn't think you'd do it!” and he was just like, “Challenge accepted!” So the rest of us quickly got ready and walked a short way to a local restaurant on the Seine.


It was spontaneous, there was music, and laughter, and I will never forget it! The four of us had not been out on a couples’ date since Chris and I were dating or maybe we were engaged at the time. And that would've never happened without Sarah and Nick staying with us. And also, a huge shout out to my mother-in-law and father-in-law for staying with the sleeping children, because it wouldn't have happened without them either!


And so now that is actually going to lead me into today’s “Chan Select”, I'm going to share the name of that fun spot that we went to for our parents’ night out. And  honestly I don't know why this has never even been on my “Chan Select” list, but it serves delicious food, and apparently has a wonderful nightlife as well!


It’s called La Guinguette de Neuilly. The first time we ever ate there was  shortly after we moved to Paris. We were attracted by the red canopy, open air tables covered in red and white checkered tables clothes, and the greenery that the restaurant had in its spot along the Seine. I was so intrigued by the atmosphere and so I looked up what it was and found, that originally guinguettes were dance halls or open air cafes.


I remember I ordered a delicious vegan salad, which they sadly no longer serve, and I tried a Pastis, or PasTI, I’m not sure if I’m saying that correctly. Which came out as a creamy light yellow liqueur looking drink, but deceived me greatly when it tasted like anise or black licorice, which I am not a fan of. But Chris kindly traded me and gave me his Kir Royale, which was delicious and a lot more like what I was hoping for!


And every time that we've been back, the food is delightful, savory, and lovingly cooked. We took my mother and father-in-law there when they came to visit in September of 2022, my friend Sissi and I had a celebratory lunch there after our first Presentation for Expats, which we gave at our kids’ school, and Chris and I have enjoyed a date night or two there as well.


But when we went with Sarah and Nick, that was the first time that we had really experienced the nightlife there, and sitting along the dark waters of the Seine, laughing and talking and dreaming about the future, will long live in my heart.


So if you are in Paris and you're looking for either a delicious lunch, or maybe a night out with friends, I highly recommend visiting La Guinguette de Neuilly. I will be sure to include their website and Instagram handle in the show notes, and as always, I am not an affiliate, just a fan.


And now for a quote of the day. Before I share our quote from an unknown author, I wanted to share how difficult it was to find a quote about hosting or having company. In our modern day of enterprise and honestly web development, hosting means a totally different thing. I would know because this podcast is hosted by a company called Buzzcast. And when you search for the word “company”, that is going to refer to many businesses around us.


And I think that also goes to show that “hosting company” in the old sense, could slowly be dying out. So I hope that this podcast episode could maybe revive that practice a little bit. It's not a practice of perfection, but it’s a practice that is personable. And so here's our quote of the day, I can't say that currently I attest to its full truth, as nowadays, I drive with four young children, but I will tell you that in my later teens and early to mid 20s, I found this to be so true. And that is, “Sometimes the best therapy is a long drive, good music, and good company.”


And I welcome the return of that as soon as it dares to come to me!


Thank you guys so much for tuning into this episode today. I hope you walk away with insights or inspiration or just maybe a pleasant way to spend 20 or so minutes during your commute. I am looking forward to meeting you back here again next week. But before you go, I would like to hear a little bit about your best, funniest, or wildest experiences hosting company. You can DM me on Instagram at my handle @Expatriotical, “at sign” E-X-P-A-T-R-I-O-T-I-C-A-L. I'm really looking forward to hearing these! And who knows maybe something you share- a great tip or an anecdote could end up on the podcast in the future. If chosen for that, I will of course message you back and ask your permission to share your name and the story.


That’s it everyone! Have a great week you guys and I'll meet you again really soon. Until then this is Chandra Alley, reminding you to "Live and Travel in the Know” with Expatriotical!