Episode 25: Home Leave Trips

Homeward Bound! It's summer (in the northern hemisphere) and during this season many expats take their annual Home Leave Trip. In this episode, take an intimate look into Chandra's Home Leave Trips, past and present. How they have changed, how they've stayed the same, and some important "take-aways" for your next "Home Leave" trip!

Plus, travel to the island of Ireland, for this week's delicious "Chan Select". Listen in!

• This episode's "Chan Select": Wild Beans in Kinvara, Ireland.
• Follow us on Instagram: @expatriotical
• Episode Reference: Episode 9: Lost in Translation, Episode 10: Hospitalizations- Chandra Edition, Episode 14: What Saved My Expat Life in Italy

"Live and Travel in the Know" with Expatriotical!

Transcript

Bienvenue, Benvenuti, and Welcome to Expatriotical, the podcast for expats, travelers, and other adventurous souls. I’m Chandra Alley and after living as an expat with my husband and 4 children in two different countries for almost 6 years, I’ve learned the arts of pivoting during pitfalls, traveling tastefully for less, and soaking in amazing new cultures without loosing your own.

Join me, as we dive into the joys and challenges of travel and the expat life in every episode!

Good Morning or Afternoon or Evening everyone! This is the first episode since the end of the very fun, and rather successful, if I do say so myself, Summer Sit Down interview episodes and I am super happy to be here chatting with you all after having a really fun Home Leave trip.

For those that aren’t familiar with that term, it is basically when you go back to your country of origin or home country, to visit family or friends or what have you. For some expats, part- or all- of that trip may be funded by your employer, but for others it is not. And regardless, it can be a very import reset and possible “recharge” especially if you are in the initial throws of an assignment and are feeling overwhelmed.

One thing that I want to mention though, is that for many, if not most of us, the Home Leave Trip is exactly that, it is a trip, not necessarily a vacation. The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines trip as: a “voyage or journey” or “a single round or tour on a business errand” and it defines vacation as “a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation.”

I’ve even heard fellow podcaster and radio personality, Rachel Cruz, I say that like she is my contemporary, I wish! Anyway, I’ve heard her say, and I agree, that a trip may be more productive and you may see lots of sights, but a vacation is more relaxing and I tend to agree and look at it that way, as well.

Both are of value, they are each a little bit different. I say all of that to say that for those yet to ever go on their first Home Leave Trip, don’t expect it to necessarily be relaxing. It will be productive, you will most likely see lots of people, but you may not have a lot of “chill” or “down time”.

To start with, prepping for the trip can be arduous. My prep this year, included prerecording 5 or 6 episodes of the podcast, because bringing my equipment with me and trying to set up a recording space in the 2 different countries and 2 different states we stayed in was not going to happen. This may be the case for most people working, they have to set things in order before they leave and many of you, like my husband, Chris, may have to work a bit while you are gone.

Another prep event is making sure pets or even plants are cared for while you are gone or making arrangements for said pets to go with you, if possible. This can be a bit stressful, but definitely necessary. Then there is the obvious chore of packing. I used to pack for myself and my 4 kiddos and now I am working on teaching my kids to pack for themselves, but even this can have hiccups. For example, I forgot to tell my daughter to pack a swimsuit and so we discovered in the first part of our trip- we actually went to Ireland first- which I will talk more about later- but I discovered in the countryside of Ireland that Lilliah didn’t have a swimsuit, so I ended buying her a long sleeve rash guard and shorts- think 1920s swimsuit with sleeves to try to do the job.

I’ll be honest, it was not ideal, but it was what I could find so that she could enjoy our beach day the next day.

Anyway, there’s the packing and the managing weight restrictions for different airlines, and figuring out how to bring an extra bag so you can bring things back and for me, this year, all of this happened on the last day of school. It can be a lot.

But going back to what I mentioned about Ireland, my family has had a tradition of trying to go somewhere on our way “home”, hear the air quotes there, to America, since we first became expats. So for us that first Home Leave Trip happened in summer 2019 and we went to London for a few days before crossing over the pond to see family. It worked nicely for us because at that time, you could not fly directly from Milan to very many cities in the U.S. other than New York or Miami, so pretty much we always needed to either fly to London and then on to Denver or Los Angeles or whereever, or fly to New York and connect from there. So our stay in 2019 served as a long layover, if you will and it was fantastic!

In 2020, we didn’t have a Home Leave Trip at all due to Covid and my heart procedure happening in July of that year, listen to Episode 10: Hospitalizations- Chandra Edition, to understand more of what I mean about that. In 2021, we did have a Home Leave Trip, but didn’t do the vacation or trip to somewhere prior, due to not having seen our families for almost 2 years and so we had planned an extended stay in American of 4 weeks, instead of our usual 2 ½, which ended up getting extended to 6 weeks, because of most of us got Covid and had to quarantine for 10 days or two weeks or whatever it was at the end of our original time or planned trip.

In 2022, we actually went to America over Spring Break, because we knew we where moving that summer and wouldn’t be able to fit in a Home Leave Trip, plus move, plus find a new apartment, etc…

But finally in 2023, we picked the tradition back up, and travelled with Chris and his sister Sarah, her husband Nick, and their kiddos to Switzerland and then to our favorite place in Italy, Cinque Terre, and also to where we had lived just south of Milan, before we all flew together back to the States.

Listen to Episode 9: Lost in Translation, to learn a little bit more about my favorite place in Italy, Cinque Terre, as it is that episode’s “Chan Select”.

And so this year, Chris’ parents came out, along with Sarah and Nick and their family and we all did a mock pilgrimage, I say that because Chris, his parents, and both of his sisters are all redheads and according to a quick Google search, Ireland has the highest concentration or density per capita of redheads in the world. So it was like going to the motherland or land of the ancestors, sort of, and in fact, a woman that worked in Customs at the airport in Dublin, looked directly at Sarah and said that people with Irish residency could go to a different line. I mean she totally looked the part!

Anyway, we had a wonderful trip, not necessarily a vacation because it was jam packed with visiting sights, changing locations, and waking up to an alarm to fit in all the things, but with that being said, it was FANTASTIC and we had so much fun!

AND I successfully drove on the opposite side of the road, on the opposite side of the car, driving stick (a slang way to say a way of driving a manual transmission with my left hand) from Dublin, to Cong, to the Dingle Peninsula, to Blarney Castle, and back to Dublin…  ALL … BY… MY…SELF!

Can you tell I’m proud of myself? Haha! Also, that was all God’s grace too, because I was super nervous at first, constantly vigilant, and always praying that we would not have accidents. I say we because there were 3 cars for our party of 14, Chris, Nick, and myself all being the drivers.

So continuing on from our Irish adventure we headed to America. Where we commenced to spend one week with my mom’s side of the family, one week with Chris’ family, seeing his other sister, Katie, and extended family, and then surprised my mom for her 70th birthday by driving to San Antonio where she was visiting my brother, sister-in-law, and their kiddos. (As a side note, we see my dad’s side of the family every other year by going to LA, before we head to Colorado, which is where most of our family lives).

Ok, so now to the parts that really make it a trip and not a vacation. The first part is seeing all of the family and friends. I will be honest and say that this has evolved over time for us. I used to try to see every friend I’ve ever known and as time progressed I realized this is not feasible and also that some of those friendships where just for a season and that season has past.

But we still make significant effort to try to connect with friends and definitely with family. This past trip alone I saw 4 of my 6 bridesmaids, and the 5th one, my cousin Kristina, would have traveled from Nevada to come and see us, but she is 9 months pregnant and can’t travel. We also have experienced reciprocity in this where just a few days a go, my dear friend Jena- whom I met in our first years in Italy- once again see Episode 10 to understand a very small portion of the significant role Jena played in my life as a new expat.

Anyway, Jena drove 3 ½ hours with all of her five children just to see us for a couple of hours when we were in San Antonio. It was such a big gesture, it meant a lot, and it felt just like old times!

So coordinating to see all of the family and friends that live in different cities or states and are all on different summer schedules, can be a lot. Then add to it the need to get all of the, let’s call them “American Necessities”, you have to add at least another day of trekking around.

A dear friend recently asked me what types of things we buy when we go to American, because honestly, the sky could be the limit, but I shared with her that we try to keep it pretty basic. First of all, Chris usually needs clothes, and a lot of the time he needs business clothes. Now, for those that are thinking, “But wait, don’t you live in the Fashion Capital of the world??”

The answer to your question is yes, BUT, my husband is not a fashionista nor has he ever donned a pair of skinny jeans, his favorite item of clothing is a free swag t-shirt, and a fitted pair of Italian or French business slacks is not his jam. Plus, he is 6 feet tall and well built, so in Italy at least, that was also a bit of a problem with finding the right fit. Thus, going to good ol’ Kohl’s in the U S of A, is a standard stop.

We also shop for Aluminum-free deodorant, which I haven’t seen here, nor found any in Italy that worked really well, maybe I am just extra stinky? I don’t know?!

We buy floss picks for the kids, because they are way less expensive in America and are a light-weight item to bring back. Along with two different hair products that I have not seen on Iherb.com, which I mentioned in Episode 14: What Saved My Expat Life in Italy.

Finally there are always random-ish purchases, like backpacks (when needed), yes these are also significantly less expensive in the U.S., pizza pans and cookie sheets from Dollar Tree (this was a new one for me), and packs of greeting cards.

I also usually have made and sent a few photo books to Chris’ parents house, though I still contemplate giving that practice up, as I am always behind. Currently I am behind by a whole year.

There are two different parts of our Home leave trip that I have really come to relish. One part is going to new places in our surrounding area, usually in Colorado, which we- or our kiddos- have never been too. In the past we went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado Springs- for the kids, we climbed to the top of Mount Capulin, a dormant volcano in New Mexico, located only two hours from my in-laws house, and we also trekked to the top of Two Buttes Mountain, which was located near the town by the same name- I lived in during high school.

This year we drove to the top of Pikes Peak, something my mom had never even done, even though she has lived in Colorado the majority of her life, and got a historical tour of the area of Colorado that my mother-in-law grew up in! New adventures, give all of us something to look forward to!

The other part of our Home Leave Trip that we really look forward to is eating at our favorite fast food chains and restaurants, which are not located in Europe. For me, must-eat food chains are Chick-fil-a and In-N-Out and for Chris, a stop at What-a-burger is a must! We, especially Chris, try to eat as much Mexican food as possible, as that is his fave, and so we try to go to The Cactus Flower, in Pueblo, Colorado, to get a green chili fix- which is a regional Mexican food specialty. And since breakfast is my favorite meal, I requested that we eat out at The Campo Café along Highway 287 in Colorado, which has also become a family tradition.

Now I know that our Home Leave Trip may not look like yours or even sound appealing, I get that not everyone wants to travel all over creation during their summer break.

But I share this to say that you can make your Home Leave Trip what you want it to be and also to say that it’s ok for it to evolve and change over time as you change and as the needs of your family, your people change.

As, I usually mention, I am not an affiliate of any of the businesses I mentioned, just a fan and wanted to share with you some fun things we do on our Home Leave Trip.

I also wanted to say this… the term “HOME” leave is kind of lacking for me. Due to the fact that for me, “home” is where Chris and my kids are. Chris and I, though we grew up in Colorado, have never lived there together as a married couple or in general, and when we moved abroad, we left from the Dallas area and not Colorado. And for me, Dallas doesn’t feel like “home”, though I will admit that Texas, in general, does.

So home is sort of a relative term, and honestly, I think that’s ok and maybe even needed, when you are an expat. When your home is where your base or where your immediate family- your partner- your kids are, I think that makes living the expat life a little easier.

Ok, enough of that schpeal. Time for this episode’s “Chan Select”! I am going to take you back to Ireland now, to the small but lovely town of Kinvara, which is located across the greater bay from Galway. We stayed in a lovely accommodation, which I hope to include in a future travel resource, but the standout spot, when we woke up the next morning was Wild Beans, a specialty café that serves delicious coffee, homemade treats, and sandwiches.

That morning we walked into the café and where greeted, not only by delicious aromas, but also warm smiles and friendly banter. My dirty chai latte was scrumptious and the chocolate chip cookie that the girls in my car and I shared was quickly devoured.

If you are ever in the area, I highly recommend you stop by, say hi, grab a cup of hot deliciousness, and maybe take a stroll along Kinvara Bay if you have the time. You won’t regret it! I will be sure to include their Instagram handle in the show notes so you can check them out! And as always, I am not an affiliate of Wild Beans, just a fan.

We are about to wrap up this episode everyone, but before I share our Quote of the day” and sign off, I wanted to let you know that I had really wanted to share about the Olympics this episode, BUT because I am writing this just a few hours before the Opening Ceremonies of the 2024 games, I realized that my “coverage” if you will, of the Olympics might have to be a bit delayed, as when this episode airs, the games will already have been underway for over a week.

But, I’m going to give myself grace, and trust that you all understand and will be happy to hear all about it a few days after the games have ended. Plus, as I write this we are driving down to the city of Lyon, France to watch an Olympic soccer game, and so I will be able to share all about that next week as well!

Ok, now for our quote! Since we spoke so much about home this episode, I thought it would be appropriate to have a quote about it and it kind of falls in line with what I was saying at the end of that segment. The author is unknown, but it goes like this, “Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling.” I have found that to be true throughout my life and even more so as an expat. So glad that feeling can go with me and my tribe wherever we go!

That’s it for today everyone. I hope that you have enjoyed this episode and can maybe walk away with ideas for your next Home Leave Trip. Before I say “aurevior” or goodbye, I would love to ask that if you haven’t take the time to rate or review Expatriotical yet on your preferred listening app or platform. Would you take just a brief second to do that?

It really helps our tribe here in the podcast to grow by making it more visible when people search for expat or travel podcasts. Thank you so much guys, I greatly appreciate it! I really look forward to meeting you back here next week with my Paris 2024 Olympic update, it’s going to be so fun!

Until then, this is Chandra Alley reminding you to “Live and Travel in the Know” with Expatriotical!